...as if millions of Nintendo fanboys cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
It's a significant day in games console history. A seismic shift has occurred which has instantly forced the recontextualisation of the name of every games console ever produced.
I'll explain. Gamecube: previously a mediocre name for a console. Now it's a good one. Mega Drive: now perfectly acceptable. Virtual Boy: previously awful, now great. Wonder Swan, WONDER SWAN, for god's sake, now sounds like a better than average product name. Heaven help us all.
The reason for this dramatic compression of the scale? A new tenant occupies the entire bottom half of it. Nintendo have shown unrivalled ingenuity and dedication in creating a product name that may genuinely be optimal in its wrongness. We can only speculate on the gallons of sweat exuded in the dark bowels of the company, putting letters of the English alphabet through a literal torture chamber of wheels and spikes to produce a result that, from every angle, announces its vile purpose. My dear, unprepared readers, the new name for the Revolution: the Nintendo Wii.
I'd just like to establish some prior art here, for posterity's sake.
Game idea for Nintendo Wii: urinal-based shooter, using the controller to direct a stream of urine. Provisional title: "Pissing Contest".
Mark my words.