Upon further investigation I have discovered more about this time-sucking anomaly within which I am apparently entrenched. Once this condition is attained, few people ever voluntarily leave it, as the predicament asserts a terminal dependence over those trapped within, those few who manage to escape finding themselves unable to cope and forced into returning. Most surprisingly to me, the discovery that this soul-absorbing yet chillingly seductive state has a label all of its own: 'employment'.
Employment is much like playing an MMORPG: it's not for its own rewards, but the eventual result, that you pace the treadmill for hours every day. In the case of an online game, this means slightly increased stats allowing the player to battle slightly more powerful enemies, producing a zero net change in difficulty. In the case of employment, this comes at the end of the month in the form of a financial deposit that can be redeemed for doner kebabs. I am reliably informed that in many jobs an additional incentive called 'promotion' exists, though I don't understand why they don't just call it 'levelling' like everyone else.
Contrary to my expectations throughout the year of job-hunting and mood swings that preceded this latest turn of events, I'm finding employment to be a generally agreeable and worthwhile endeavour. As is customary, I will write about my time in the workplace rarely or never. I just wanted to make it a matter of record that right now I'm pretty damn happy with life and my place in it.
Excellent news! I was worried for a moment there. It's good to hear you're happy and still the only person I know likely to say something like "Employment is much like playing an MMORPG"
I'll parse that as a compliment whether it was one or not.