It's at this time of the year -- a couple of weeks post-xmas -- that I always feel slightly betrayed by the weather.
Think thoughts of winter -- you'll probably think the same way I do. Everyone (well, everyone in this country at least) grows up surrounded by the same evocative cultural images of the winter season: fields, farms, villages, idyllic cottages, all covered in a pristine blanket of snow. Memories of snowball fights, snowmen, and long woollen scarves either persist from childhood or have been burned into the mind by movies and imagery to much the same effect. Snowy landscapes on the front of cards, fake snow in shop window displays, and "Walking in a Winter Wonderland". What could be more traditional? What could be more inviting?
And then there's winter weather in reality.
Real winter weather is nothing whatsoever like this. Winter in reality means that it's either raining heavily, treacherously icy and foggy, or comfortably mild. In the unlikely event that some snow actually falls, it might stay on the ground for up to 15 minutes before turning to slush or mud.
It's been years since we've had proper snow here in Notts, and I'm getting impatient with the weather. I want to look out of a window and see nothing but white as far as the horizon, dammit! But, of course, my annoyance is misdirected.
I've never seen a Xmas card with torrential rain on the front. I've never seen a December store display with a 'multiple vehicle pile-up on the M6' theme. Name one famous Xmas movie that doesn't have snow falling in at least one scene. We have a name for this. It's false advertising! C'mon, you know I'm right. White Xmas imagery might be traditional but it shares no likeness with reality. Someone should complain.
Yeah, I know... if I really want to look at snow, I should move somewhere it actually falls more than once a decade. Like, I don't know, Alaska, or Siberia. Or Leeds.
But I just want to see snow, here, in the house I grew up in, like my (possibly false) memories of winter as a kid. I don't want to build a snowman, or go sledging... I just want to look at it again, and I'm at a complete loss to explain why. Perhaps if I see the fields turn white just once more, then that small part of me can finally grow up.
Until then, I'll keep looking out of the window.