Wandered over to the university campus today through the chilly winter air to talk to someone at the university Endsleigh branch about making an insurance claim on my broken glasses. I prefer to do important stuff like this face-to-face rather than down the phone, because I'm not all that good on the phone and it seems like an unnecessarily awkward way to do things, especially where paperwork is concerned. Also, if you're sitting and talking to someone at a desk, you can get them to do all the actual work if you've mastered the art of looking sufficiently hapless.

I go in, explain my situation, and the bloke dials the claims number on the phone behind the counter and then hands me the phone.

Great, thanks, Mr. Endsleigh staffer. I could have done that at home without even getting out of bed today. Could you maybe tell me what your branch is even here for?